months ago, i sent an email about the possibility of teaching an interim (DCM) class at Calvin College (i had previously taught a DCM class on postmodernity and truth in January 2006). the topic i suggested for the DCM this time was theology from the Red Light District. i received a fairly positive response to the possibility of my teaching but later realized that i didn't think i could teach this topic in any way that it was not sensationalized nor was i sure if this really fit best with what i wanted to learn and do this year - and so i dropped the discussion. and never thought more of it.
last week, however, i received an email asking if i was still interested in teaching. no longer liking my previously proposed topic, having planned somewhat already what i was going to do this year, spending another month away from the community here didn't seem to fit with my desire to learn more about community, and having already decided against teaching by having dropped the discussion previously, i had planned to decline the offer to teach. i even had the email all written.
however, before sending it away, i paused to ask myself whether i had really thought and prayed over the possibility of teaching. even if the logical answer to teaching was no, perhaps the unexpectedness of the offer spoke of God's hand in it. and as i paused to wonder about whether i ought to teach, it came to me what topic i would love to talk about more: community - how community is lived here - and how it is lived in the examples of "new monasticism" that i know of in America. and wondering together what it means to live and be community in the midst of sin (both the sin of us as individuals and the sin around us). and trying to know better how to live out community in our every day lives wherever we are - and whether we're part of a formal community. combining these questions of community with the Reformed ideas of creation being good, the fall (us all being broken), and redemption (a restoration to how things should be) would provide for a lot of great discussion.
and starting to dream about getting to teach about community, which has obviously been on my heart this last year, was a bit overwhelming. all my good, logical excuses for not teaching came crashing down. and i saw that my plans for the coming year were being re-worked. so, as i often do when i'm overwhelmed and need to pray and process, i went for a bike ride. and sooner or later, i knew that i wanted to say, yes, i'd love to teach. yes, i'd love to teach about what i love (community) to first-year college students who are enthusiastic about life, who are willing to dream about the impossible (including the craziness of living in community), and who still believe they can and will change the world.
so, i worked out some logistics. a place to stay in Grand Rapids has been found. i've moved my vacation time from here to be in January instead of for much of Advent. everyone i've talked to (family and friends here and back home) have all responded with delight over the fact that i'd get to do this (and are okay with my changing my plans even if it means that i don't get to see everyone as soon and as much as we'd all like). and as the logistics have worked out and with the encouragement of those i love, i feel like i've been allowed to dream again. for i get to be paid to do what i love (teach) and share about what i love (community)!
i'm deeply thankful to God for being pushed to dream again - and to believe that He does want to give me the desires of my heart. i do have to admit, though, that as delighted as i am to dream again, i'm also a bit nervous - dreaming has the unpleasant habit of making me have to re-adjust my life....
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