deception

the readings in chapel have been out of Genesis lately. as we read through the stories of the patriarchs, i'm struck by how much deception is involved. Jacob is deceived into marrying Leah along with Rachel. Laban makes all the spotted/streaked animals he's promised Jacob go away, so Jacob uses his own devices to cause the healthiest animals in the flocks to become spotted/streaked (and thus his). Rachel steals her father's idols, and then pretends it's "that time of the month" so she can't get up from where she's sitting on them. and then Dinah's brothers trick the men of Shechem into believing that all they need to do to make things good between the families is get circumcised - and then Dinah's 2 brothers kill them off while they're in pain. that's not even all the deception involved - and we haven't even got to the story of Judah and Tamar yet (Gen 38)!

all this deception has got me to thinking more about deception in general. one of the fascinating things i learned when studying hebrew narrative (and Genesis specifically) at Calvin Seminary was that the Bible does not always see deception as evil/wrong. Michael Williams wrote his dissertation on how deception being considered positive was a uniquely biblical phenomenon. the best example of positive deception would be the case of Tamar, who is called righteous by Judah, when Judah discovers what really happened in her becoming pregnant. because Tamar's deception restored shalom (i.e. it restored things to how they should be - and by how things should be, she rightly deserved to be able to bear a child from Judah's line), her deception of Judah is not considered evil but is instead considered righteous.

because understanding how deception could really restore shalom, as opposed to merely creating more brokenness (and go against the eighth commandment), deception is a bit difficult for me as a Christian to know what to do with. yet, i also know that being completely honest also creates brokenness. if i'm too honest with others, i can unnecessarily hurt others' feelings (and who really needs to know my exact opinion on their clothing style?!) and i open myself up to being hurt and having what i've said be used against me. i wouldn't say that i deceive people so much as i don't always correct other's perceptions - because i'm often scared of being hurt, i tend towards not being as honest as i could be.

the questions of deception and honesty are brought forward more when living in community. when living in community, it is hard to deceive others as one can hardly put on a false face every hour of the day. and yet, in other ways living in community makes it easier to hide other things. deception is best done not with outright lying but by saying louder something else that is also true. and when you live in community, certain things keep coming up loudly. like one person's dislike of the rules is so loud that you don't see how much he has adjusted to those rules even when he feels that the rules are hardly applied fairly to everyone. when something doesn't happen the way it should, it gets noticed louder than the hundreds of things that do go well - or the umpteen chores that a couple of people quietly do to make life easier for everyone else. and sometimes you miss how much people enjoy life or are good at expressing themselves - and only see it when they play volleyball or find the right task that fits their gifts or go dancing or sit down for tea with just the right person(s). and with lives that are busy with our own problems/issues, our own work, and the umpteen people that daily cross our paths, sometimes it is hard to see both the obvious things that are true/honest alongside the glimpses of other parts of people that are also true/honest.

and in some ways, i, too, say some things more loudly than others. i try to speak more loudly about the good things about community and not talk so much about the painful parts. living in community does hurt a lot because it hurts to choose to love people and not be overwhelmed by the sadness of how broken the world is - both outside the community and in all of us. and it's hard work not to complain about how others don't do things the way i think they should (or i would do better) - and it's hard work to acknowledge that i also hurt people and am broken and my way is not always the best way. and as much as i ought to be honest about how hard community is, i don't want that to be the only thing that people hear. i want them to hear that it is good. and to help with showing that it is good, i choose to laugh (and i think i laugh louder now than i used to!). and in some ways, there's deception in that - because when i laugh, what people generally see is that i am happy - and it effectively hides the sadness i have over the brokenness. and yet, it is mostly good deception. because when i laugh, i am in some ways saying that the pain and the brokenness are not the biggest things in life - instead, joy and hope are bigger. and when i laugh, it is easier to believe that God is working good in all of us, even if sometimes i don't always feel that or see that.