18 March 2019

A little perspective

While life has gotten easier in the last months (e.g., the green card process seems to be going well, Matthijs' comprehensive exams are over and his program has become less demanding, and Lydia has continued to be healthy and cheerful, growing in independence and stubbornness), I think Matthijs and I are still carrying with us some of the stress of the previous harder months (alongside of the usual stress of wanting to do well in our jobs and in parenting our child). It's thus hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed at times.

And so, when I found out late last night that day care would be closed today because of illness, I couldn't help but wonder how we would manage. More accurately, my first thought was that I wasn't up for handling this.  

But this morning, we split up the day, and Matthijs cancelled some things that were less relevant, so he could do childcare for the most of the morning, so I could go to a meeting. And later this afternoon, a friend is looking after Lydia. And, so I, got a bit of the afternoon with Lydia. 

And in that early afternoon, while Lydia and I got to be outside in the almost spring weather, I remembered again how her presence often helps me find perspective. Because when we need to, Matthijs and I can and do adjust to make extra space for her. And when I am with her, I am reminded that sometimes all of our plans and responsibilities aren't as important as we sometimes think they are.

And last of all, when I am with her, I am filled with joy: because how could I not be filled with joy after seeing how happy she was when she could play in the sandbox for the first time this season, even if it was really still too cold?