Much has changed in my life these last few weeks (and not just the transition in weather). That has taken time and energy to process, which explains some of my absence on this blog. Being in a new place, finding new rhythms and simply figuring out how best to be myself and use my gifts in a new place can be hard. It has also been confusing to know how best to be a blessing to the campus ministry here in Lansing while also honouring the government's regulations about work and visas.
Yet, at the same time, it has felt very much that God has been letting me know that this place and my fit with this ministry is good. With all the challenges involved in moving across an ocean, leaving behind the life I've loved in Amsterdam, along with the complications of work visas, I feel extra blessed for experiencing a sense of 'this is good' from God. Matthijs and I have both been thankful that I've been able to delight so much in the minstry here and see how God aready has been working.
If you'd like to read more about the ministry here and what I've been seeing thus far, you can read (some of) my thoughts on the Campus Edge blog. Just follow the link: http://campusedgemsu.wordpress.com/ !
21 February 2014
19 February 2014
It's pretty, God, but...
Driving to church on Sunday, I informed God that I was tired of the snow already. Once again the roads had several inches of snow on them, and I had to drive on them.
Typical of most conversations I have with God, this one did not entirely end in my favour. He was, at least, gracious enough not to point that I had been 'suffering' from the snow for only 3 weeks, whereas most people have been dealing with it for 3 months! And they have done so without my mobility, youth and/or their father's big old 4-wheel drive pickup truck (that's pretty great in the snow).
Instead, a gentle voice said another truth: how beautiful the snow was. There's nothing quite like seeing all the trees covered with several inches of snow - and that describes my whole drive on Sunday morning. So I thanked God for the beauty. I did mention that it's easier to appreciate it when it it isn't constant, but I'm sure He's more than aware of that detail. I imagine I'm not the only one who's shouting up prayers of thanks for the warm sun and bit of melting we're getting today :)
Typical of most conversations I have with God, this one did not entirely end in my favour. He was, at least, gracious enough not to point that I had been 'suffering' from the snow for only 3 weeks, whereas most people have been dealing with it for 3 months! And they have done so without my mobility, youth and/or their father's big old 4-wheel drive pickup truck (that's pretty great in the snow).
Instead, a gentle voice said another truth: how beautiful the snow was. There's nothing quite like seeing all the trees covered with several inches of snow - and that describes my whole drive on Sunday morning. So I thanked God for the beauty. I did mention that it's easier to appreciate it when it it isn't constant, but I'm sure He's more than aware of that detail. I imagine I'm not the only one who's shouting up prayers of thanks for the warm sun and bit of melting we're getting today :)
18 February 2014
Prayers related to driving
A few weeks ago, I got to be at the mission presentation of friends of mine, Anthony and Sara, as they were preparing to return to Uganda. It was a delight to see them again after all this time and to hear, in person, about their hopes and desires for their time serving God in Uganda. I've enjoyed keeping up with them via their blog (http://anthsara.blogspot.nl/), so little of what they said was a surprise; yet, one thing did strike me.
When someone asked if they had any special prayer requests, they highlighted 'safety when it comes to driving and being driven.' Anthony pointed out that in Uganda, like in North America, driving is one of the most dangerous things one can do, as accidents cause many deaths and injuries. The words have stayed with me, more so after learning that on the very same day he said this, Christian Reformed retirees in Florida were tragically experiencing the sad truth of his words. The Banner, the Christian Reformed magazine tells the story: Florida vacation turns to nightmare. Your prayers are requested for all those injured or mourning loved ones.
I ask also prayers of awareness and protection for all those who drive here. In my return to North America, I step into a vehicle almost every day, and I, too, seem to have forgotten the potential danger involved. Driving is simply what one does here. I'd rather not, but there does not really seem to be much choice. I would like to choose to do it better, more aware of how much I need God and prayer in this every day, normal, activity. I would like to live more with a thankfulness for the safety which I have experienced and a prayerfulness and watchfulness regarding the potential danger my presence to the road can cause to others, especially those not in vehicles.
When someone asked if they had any special prayer requests, they highlighted 'safety when it comes to driving and being driven.' Anthony pointed out that in Uganda, like in North America, driving is one of the most dangerous things one can do, as accidents cause many deaths and injuries. The words have stayed with me, more so after learning that on the very same day he said this, Christian Reformed retirees in Florida were tragically experiencing the sad truth of his words. The Banner, the Christian Reformed magazine tells the story: Florida vacation turns to nightmare. Your prayers are requested for all those injured or mourning loved ones.
I ask also prayers of awareness and protection for all those who drive here. In my return to North America, I step into a vehicle almost every day, and I, too, seem to have forgotten the potential danger involved. Driving is simply what one does here. I'd rather not, but there does not really seem to be much choice. I would like to choose to do it better, more aware of how much I need God and prayer in this every day, normal, activity. I would like to live more with a thankfulness for the safety which I have experienced and a prayerfulness and watchfulness regarding the potential danger my presence to the road can cause to others, especially those not in vehicles.
17 February 2014
And out came this calf!
Exodus 32 tells the story of the golden calf.
When Moses takes so long to come down from Mt Sinai (where he'd gone to get the law and meet with God), the people come to Aaron, asking that he make gods for them since they don't know what has become of this Moses. Aaron requests their gold, takes it, forms a mold and casts an image of a calf, which the people declare to be their (new) gods. Aaron then builds an altar before it and proclaims the next day to be a festival to the LORD. Moses returns to their revel, warned of what was happening by the LORD's anger against the people. (For those interested in deep theological discussions: Before Moses returns, the Moses implores the LORD not to destroy the people of Israel, and the text itself raises the difficult but fascinating question of whether and how the LORD can change his mind).
Moses was livid when he saw the calf and the dancing. The following is verses 21-24 as they appear in the NRSV: Moses said to Aaron, ‘What did this people do to you that you have brought so great a sin upon them?’ And Aaron said, ‘Do not let the anger of my lord burn hot; you know the people, that they are bent on evil. They said to me, “Make us gods, who shall go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” So I said to them, “Whoever has gold, take it off”; so they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!’
Reading the text this time, it is the words "out came this calf" that struck me. They sound ridiculous - like Aaron is trying to claim that it was not his fault (does this remind anyone of Genesis 3?). The text certainly tells a different story, noting in the last verse of the chapter that "the Lord sent a plague on the people, because they made the calf—the one that Aaron made."
At the same time, the very ridiculous-ness of it made me want to see if perhaps it was not quite as obvious as I had first thought. Aaron does not appear to know how to deal with the people (elsewhere in the text it indictes that the people were running wild under Aaron's (lack of) leadership). When Moses is gone so long, and the people approach him, he is faced with a potential disaster/mutiny. Calling for gold was a potential solution or, at least a postponement of this. His creating a calf might not even be seen as blasphemous - he could have been creating a throne (i.e., dwelling place, like a tabernacle) for the LORD. It was not Aaron, but the people who claimed the calf as their god. Aaron even tried to turn the focus back to the true God, by declaring a feast to the LORD.
Reading the text closely, it becomes less strange that Aaron uses the words, 'out came this calf.' He was certainly involved in its creation, but there is much more to the story. The link to Genesis 3 thus seems helpful, especially the desire to shift blame. The text leaves room for evil and Satan to have played a role. The people's lack of trust and sin, as Aaron points out and the last verse of the text confirms, is certainly to blame. Yet, Aaron, despite whatever good intentions he might have had, is hardly as innocent as he tries to make himself sound. It is a bit disconcerting to see Aaron not as the sinful creator of the calf but as essentailly good, seeing as many of us Christians would see ourselves not as full of sin, like the people, but instead as being generally well-intentioned, like Aaron.
When Moses takes so long to come down from Mt Sinai (where he'd gone to get the law and meet with God), the people come to Aaron, asking that he make gods for them since they don't know what has become of this Moses. Aaron requests their gold, takes it, forms a mold and casts an image of a calf, which the people declare to be their (new) gods. Aaron then builds an altar before it and proclaims the next day to be a festival to the LORD. Moses returns to their revel, warned of what was happening by the LORD's anger against the people. (For those interested in deep theological discussions: Before Moses returns, the Moses implores the LORD not to destroy the people of Israel, and the text itself raises the difficult but fascinating question of whether and how the LORD can change his mind).
Moses was livid when he saw the calf and the dancing. The following is verses 21-24 as they appear in the NRSV: Moses said to Aaron, ‘What did this people do to you that you have brought so great a sin upon them?’ And Aaron said, ‘Do not let the anger of my lord burn hot; you know the people, that they are bent on evil. They said to me, “Make us gods, who shall go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” So I said to them, “Whoever has gold, take it off”; so they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!’
Reading the text this time, it is the words "out came this calf" that struck me. They sound ridiculous - like Aaron is trying to claim that it was not his fault (does this remind anyone of Genesis 3?). The text certainly tells a different story, noting in the last verse of the chapter that "the Lord sent a plague on the people, because they made the calf—the one that Aaron made."
At the same time, the very ridiculous-ness of it made me want to see if perhaps it was not quite as obvious as I had first thought. Aaron does not appear to know how to deal with the people (elsewhere in the text it indictes that the people were running wild under Aaron's (lack of) leadership). When Moses is gone so long, and the people approach him, he is faced with a potential disaster/mutiny. Calling for gold was a potential solution or, at least a postponement of this. His creating a calf might not even be seen as blasphemous - he could have been creating a throne (i.e., dwelling place, like a tabernacle) for the LORD. It was not Aaron, but the people who claimed the calf as their god. Aaron even tried to turn the focus back to the true God, by declaring a feast to the LORD.
Reading the text closely, it becomes less strange that Aaron uses the words, 'out came this calf.' He was certainly involved in its creation, but there is much more to the story. The link to Genesis 3 thus seems helpful, especially the desire to shift blame. The text leaves room for evil and Satan to have played a role. The people's lack of trust and sin, as Aaron points out and the last verse of the text confirms, is certainly to blame. Yet, Aaron, despite whatever good intentions he might have had, is hardly as innocent as he tries to make himself sound. It is a bit disconcerting to see Aaron not as the sinful creator of the calf but as essentailly good, seeing as many of us Christians would see ourselves not as full of sin, like the people, but instead as being generally well-intentioned, like Aaron.
04 February 2014
Change affects perspective
A little more than a week into our long process of (eventually) moving to Lansing, I'm still struggling to figure out a schedule. The normal-ness of my life in Amsterdam - the morning prayers that I may or may not have gone to, the university a healthy bike ride away so that it was ideal to head out to at the end of the morning when/if I got bogged down, the presence of those I loved and knew long all around me - these have been replaced with a different normal, and a temporary one at that.
To some degree, such a huge change causes some loss in perspective. Every day tasks - simple things like where one buys or does this - can become overwhelming. It is the sheer amount of things that I have to make choices about - on simple things like grocery shopping - that compound to make me feel that life is absurdly complicated now. I am thankful that I have lived in the States before, as that has helped a lot with settling in and making choices, but I still feel like I spend an absurd amount of time in every store I go to since I read all the labels on everything.
In the midst of all the challenges of a new place and my growing realization of how hard this change can be, I am also overwhelmed with thankfulness. Especailly thankfulness for the blessings of home in Amsterdam. I miss the normalness of Matthijs being around and the small things he does, like setting the table for our breakfast every single day. Thankfully, we email back and forth a lot and can skype with each other. Yet, it has helped me realize anew how much I can start taking those I love for granted, so that it is only after I am absent that I recognize how great a blessing they are in my life.
But there is also a thankfulness for the communities of which I am part. I am thankful for the community back in Amsterdam who has taught me so much about hospitality and how to care for and reach out to others - and about how one can dream big about making a difference in the world around us. I hope to take some of the crazy dreaming to the small communities happening here in my neighbourhood in Lansing. But I am also deeply thankful for the church community here in Lansing, I have been accepted and been made to feel welcome to a degree that I associate more with an intentional (small) community than with a church family. It helps that I go to everything and am hoping to take on a leadership role, but it still surprises and delights me. I believe that this is how Christianity, community, and church ought to be.
In the midst of the struggles that come with all the changes, at the same time the change has opened my eyes up again to how blessed I have been and how much I am loved.
To some degree, such a huge change causes some loss in perspective. Every day tasks - simple things like where one buys or does this - can become overwhelming. It is the sheer amount of things that I have to make choices about - on simple things like grocery shopping - that compound to make me feel that life is absurdly complicated now. I am thankful that I have lived in the States before, as that has helped a lot with settling in and making choices, but I still feel like I spend an absurd amount of time in every store I go to since I read all the labels on everything.
In the midst of all the challenges of a new place and my growing realization of how hard this change can be, I am also overwhelmed with thankfulness. Especailly thankfulness for the blessings of home in Amsterdam. I miss the normalness of Matthijs being around and the small things he does, like setting the table for our breakfast every single day. Thankfully, we email back and forth a lot and can skype with each other. Yet, it has helped me realize anew how much I can start taking those I love for granted, so that it is only after I am absent that I recognize how great a blessing they are in my life.
But there is also a thankfulness for the communities of which I am part. I am thankful for the community back in Amsterdam who has taught me so much about hospitality and how to care for and reach out to others - and about how one can dream big about making a difference in the world around us. I hope to take some of the crazy dreaming to the small communities happening here in my neighbourhood in Lansing. But I am also deeply thankful for the church community here in Lansing, I have been accepted and been made to feel welcome to a degree that I associate more with an intentional (small) community than with a church family. It helps that I go to everything and am hoping to take on a leadership role, but it still surprises and delights me. I believe that this is how Christianity, community, and church ought to be.
In the midst of the struggles that come with all the changes, at the same time the change has opened my eyes up again to how blessed I have been and how much I am loved.
31 January 2014
Thankfulness and arriving amidst prayers
I arrived in Lansing this week. So much is new. Matthijs is far away in Amsterdam. My work visa hasn't come in yet, so even coming into the country was a point of concer. Would they let me be here to volunteer while I prepare for this ministry? And now that they have let me in, how do I be here well? Not working but still ministering to those who are part of the campus ministry here.
If I list everything like that, it sounds overwhelming. There have been moments when it has felt overwhelming. Yet, those moments have been few and far between.
More often I have felt thankful and blessed.
- thankful for all those who are so enthusiastic about my being here;
- thankful that Matthijs is just a skype phone call away; talking to him helps give me courage and everything just seems so much better;
- thankful that it hasn't been too complicated to settle into life in Lansing - my time in Grand Rapids helped a lot with knowing how things work (and hopefully that will be a blessing to Matthijs, too, when he comes);
- thankful for the place that I have found to live - it's a new adventure in community! The people here are gracious and friendly, and I'm looking forward to walking alongside them for awhile. And like all good communities it has a cat :) The cat has adopted me, making me feel more at home.
- thankful for all those who have been praying for me - both here and in Amsterdam. People who didn't even know me have been diligently praying about my visa and coming. And many more are praying for my transition into life here and the challenge of being so far away from Matthijs and Amsterdam, for which I am thankful;
- thankful that I'm beginning to get a sense of what I'm to do here for now: fall in love with these people and this place and this church and the ministry. Encourage the work that those here are already doing, and walk alongside watching, praying, and wondering about what's next for all of us.
I'm glad that the beginning of my time here has been filled with so much thankfulness.
If I list everything like that, it sounds overwhelming. There have been moments when it has felt overwhelming. Yet, those moments have been few and far between.
More often I have felt thankful and blessed.
- thankful for all those who are so enthusiastic about my being here;
- thankful that Matthijs is just a skype phone call away; talking to him helps give me courage and everything just seems so much better;
- thankful that it hasn't been too complicated to settle into life in Lansing - my time in Grand Rapids helped a lot with knowing how things work (and hopefully that will be a blessing to Matthijs, too, when he comes);
- thankful for the place that I have found to live - it's a new adventure in community! The people here are gracious and friendly, and I'm looking forward to walking alongside them for awhile. And like all good communities it has a cat :) The cat has adopted me, making me feel more at home.
- thankful for all those who have been praying for me - both here and in Amsterdam. People who didn't even know me have been diligently praying about my visa and coming. And many more are praying for my transition into life here and the challenge of being so far away from Matthijs and Amsterdam, for which I am thankful;
- thankful that I'm beginning to get a sense of what I'm to do here for now: fall in love with these people and this place and this church and the ministry. Encourage the work that those here are already doing, and walk alongside watching, praying, and wondering about what's next for all of us.
I'm glad that the beginning of my time here has been filled with so much thankfulness.
30 January 2014
So, how was your trip?
I like the fact that I get to see those I love so often and that I'm home in many different places, but flying is not my favourite. And the last flying day was probably the worst I've ever had.
So yes, it was a lousy trip. At the same time, I had much to be thankful for. Not simply the delivered suitcase within 2 days, but even more so the safe tavel and the wonderful family and friends who came to meet me at the airport in Woodstock in the midst of the crazy winter weather we've had on this side of the ocean.
The morning of my flight I couldn’t manage to
pack my bags properly, which is normally not a problem. However, this time I
just had too much stuff and couldn't figure out what was most
important. At the airport, we eventually got it
down to under the required 23 kilos. It turned out that the check-out
desk scale considered it to be even less, so Matthijs sneakily put an
extra half kilo of cheese into the luggage when the check-in lady at
the counter wasn’t looking.
But after Matthijs left, I was not
feeling in any kind of mood to fly, despite the coffee and hot chocolate we'd had time to have together. I don’t particularly like
flying, but my mood was significantly worse than unusual. It was like an anticipatory bad mood, even though it was also a day filled with grace.
The worst part of the day is that I
missed my second flight. And not because my plane was late arriving, but
because I had no idea what the gate was. I spent an hour trying to
get the gate number, only getting as far as the terminal before it
was supposed to leave. I was standing in security for the second time
when they paged me. Missing a flight is one of my nightmares, which obviously didn't help matters. I don’t
know, on the basis of the info I then had – and the fact that it was a
shared Star Alliance flight – if I could have done it differently. But that doesn't change the sinking feeling I had when I realized that my flight was leaving without me - and I had had more than enough time to make it. .
Thankfully, though, I got a new flight
quickly. At no cost, even. My panic and distress at missing my flight seemed almost inappropriate in light of the calm and helpfulness of those who rebooked me and the sheer simplicity of it.
You would think that was the end of the story, but my second flight got delayed several hours and my checked baggage got left in Newark. Yet, because I'd had so much to pack, I'd had more than enough clothes in my carry-on. And not having the extra baggage made it simple to take the bus the next day when the roads were nastier than my sister wanted to drive on. And despite the crazy stormy weather on the day I flew in, it was a friend living close-by in Hamilton who picked me up, and she was up for the drive through the blowing snow, which wasn't as bad as it could have been.
So yes, it was a lousy trip. At the same time, I had much to be thankful for. Not simply the delivered suitcase within 2 days, but even more so the safe tavel and the wonderful family and friends who came to meet me at the airport in Woodstock in the midst of the crazy winter weather we've had on this side of the ocean.
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