In its categories for relationships, Facebook has one entitled "It's complicated." When a monk friend of mine used that to describe his relationship status, I had to laugh: it definitely seemed fitting!
I just hadn't expected it also to be fitting for my relationship with the community. But at the moment, it seems that "it's complicated" is probably the best way to describe things. That I deeply care about those involved in the community and that I want the community to flourish has not changed. Nor has my desire to be involved in the growth and well-being of the community and those participating in it. But somewhere along the way, the relationship got complicated - and I don't entirely have words for how to talk about it, at least not in a way that I want to on this blog. And it has also meant that I haven't had the words to share my wonder and joy in living community, things that I miss talking about.
The role of community in my life is thus overshadowed by other things, the most significant being Matthijs's place in my life. Academics, Christianity, relationships and freelancing stuff play also a huge role, but my frequent mentioning of Matthijs feels nonetheless fitting - what with us still being newlyweds, after all.
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