The CRC has decided neither to be in ecclesiastical fellowship with the PKN nor simply to be "distant cousins" who pretend not to be related. Instead, it has established a tenuous relationship that neither fully embraces some of what has been happening in the PKN but still desires a closeness. The official report can be seen courtesy of CRC Synod News.
As the discussion got more and more complicated and my angst grew, it became obvious that my angst was about more than the relationship of the CRC has with the PKN. after all, i know my help in the church here would be appreciated (and it's not as if i have any desire to be an elder or preach :)). and as part of a Christian community here, i have the opportunity to live out my faith, dialogue with other Christians, and participate in ministry. i am participating in ministry here. so why does/did the discussion and question cause so much angst?
the angst makes sense when i see the relationship between my church back "home" in North America with my new "home" in Amsterdam as a metaphor for the tension i have in holding on to where i came from (the people and church that have shaped me) and embracing life fully here (in a different environment with different possibilities and confronted with different issues). i don't think my theology has changed in my being here, although how i live it out has. and that is good, even if it takes time to learn and causes tension in the process. As Neal Plantinga says, “The church today is so much more diverse in old and new ways that no single recipe can possibly feed everybody. The [person] who attempts to force a ministry style into an alien context will only frustrate, baffle or amuse God’s people. ... Wise [servants] will exclaim one part of the gospel, and whisper another.” Taken from CRC 2008 Synod News # 18
The disrupting reality and pervasiveness of the brokenness of the world around me – both in- and out-side of the community in which i live - challenges one's understanding of God and the gospel. There is no place here for a warm fuzzy "Sunday school" version of God that cannot speak to the complications of prostitution and the supernatural and judgment and deception. Instead the picture of God necessary here is that of the Almighty Holy God who changes water to wine, requires obedience, challenges assumptions, heals diseases and and weeps over sin.
And as for living out the gospel? there are so many questions i have: how do you show an Almighty God to people who have been hurt by Christians who have shown more judgment than grace? how do you talk about God's will to people who have been told all their lives that whatever they want is good – and how do you claim a totality to the gospel when this is culturally insensitive and offensive? And how do you share a gospel with both word and actions, especially when your words and beliefs can get in the way of the gospel being heard?
there is no simple answer. i take comfort in knowing that God is powerful enough to work the impossible amidst people and places and situations that are so broken that only a miracle can change anything. and i share the gospel as well as i can, trying to love God and others with my whole heart. this is a love of both truth and grace - love that embraces but also does not pretend that what is apart from God is really good. as i struggle with participating fully here, amidst the tension of what i have learned here and from before, at times being too gracious and other times seen as offensive, i trust that God knows my desires and hears my prayers. And that through me, and at times despite me, the gospel will be heard.
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