the last couple of days, i've been restless, very un-motivated, and not particularly desirous of other's company. as i do have things i should be doing, i like what i'm doing and where i'm living, and the people in my life have been treating me well, figuring out why i'm feeling a bit 'out-of-sorts' has been a bit difficult. and of course, because i couldn't immediately understand why i was feeling this way, it didn't help my feelings - it just made me annoyed at myself.
but sometime yesterday (which i spent reading C.S. Lewis's The horse and his boy" in Dutch), i suddenly realized how much i miss home. it's not that i don't want to spend time with the people here, i'd just much rather (at this moment) spend time with people i've known for years. i like my 'family' here (and today we celebrate Sinter Klaus together which should be fun) but i'd rather be at home with my family and participating in their celebrations. yesterday my parents threw a party for my father's 60th birthday. my brother just bought a house. my sister is just starting to look like she's pregnant. and the other sister has other adventures this fall/winter in being newly married, having a new(ish) job, and living in their new house.
so yeah, that's me these past few days. i wish i was 'at home' to celebrate, but i also know that i do love where i am now. i'm just having a difficult time reconciling missing home with enjoying and participating in life here.
1 comment:
I think you're homesick too. At least, I recognize the feeling. It's how I felt about this time 4 years ago...
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