back in Amsterdam

I began the day in blue jeans, but sometime in the morning I changed into a skirt. I also changed my shirt to something that was a bit wider in the neck, and I put my contacts in. And then I put my hair up and pulled on my great dutch high-heeled boots.

As the university doesn't pay me to do research, I figure I don't have to look like I work there (although most people there also look pretty casual much of the time). So I just wear whatever I'm in the mood for.
So what was the reason for all this effort? Not work itself - but the trip to work:
- the contact lenses are because they, unlike glasses, don't get all wet and spotty when it rains,
- the boots were to protect me against the puddles I was biking through;
- the skirt was short enough to be covered by my poncho, so that only my boots and legs would get wet;
- the wider neck was to make sure I didn't arrive with a damp colour leaked onto through the coat and poncho; and
- hair drips less (and looks less wet) when it's pulled back.

I guess I could have taken the subway/metro to work but who wants to be stuffed with everybody else into a clammy subway car? And if I did that, how would I ever get to show off my sense of accomplishment of learning how to have a somewhat pleasant bike ride in the rain and arrive without looking and feeling like a drowned rat?

[I must say it's good to be back in Amsterdam (and I'm also okay if it doesn't rain again this week :)]

Update on my dad

Since last posting about my dad's surgery, I haven't written much - life's been kind of busy. Not only has there been the surgery, where everything has been going well, there has also been my semi-annual trip to Canada to visit friends and family, and there was quite a bit of things to do before leaving and while here.

My dad was quite tired last week still, but this week he's had more energy (well, except for now as he's dozing in his chair). And it's been really good to see him, and I'm really glad to see in person that he's doing well. Even though I can also see that it's hard for him to be still so tired so much - he's used to being able to do so much whenever he wants.

And the visit itself has been good, although a bit different than usual since Matthijs came with. I've still been trying to visit lots of people like usual, but it's been rather busy with trying to visit/meet so many different people and also trying to see some of the things there are to see here. I'm really glad to have been here and done everything, but I'm also looking forward to returning again to life in Amsterdam.

Today my father has surgery

Not knowing how to tell others, I have said little about my father's planned heart bypass surgery.

I suspect that part of the reason I have not mentioned it so much is because I'm not entirely sure how to react to the whole situation. On the one hand, it is the sort of procedure that is performed so often that it is almost routine. Yet, it is still his heart being operated on - and it is my father who is being operated on. That makes it a bit more uncertain, and I am a bit anxious.

Most of the time, living so far away from my parents has been okay, even providing neat opportunities like my being able to visit my parents for days at a time (seeing them at their work)- or have them come here for vacation. But now, with this situation, being so far away makes it harder. My mom and sisters have kept me updated really well, but it's still strange to be thousands of kilometres and 6 hours time difference away (like right now as I write they're on the way to the hospital, even though it is still dark outside there) while something this big is happening in the lives of people I love.

My mother has said that my father is calm and peaceful about everything, and my Mom and sisters sound also peaceful about the situation. And we are all trusting God. And deep down, I am deeply thankful that the problem was discovered before my father ever had any problems, like a heart attack - because of his work and a heart murmer, he is forced to have random check-ups, which this time discovered the possible danger early on.

And today, I am praying extra for my parents - and I am looking forward to hearing from my Mom/sister tonight about how my dad is doing.

Still a bit of disorder

Although I recently wrote a note saying that my life was returning to normal, there are a couple of signs that my life still has quite a bit of disorder in it.

A part of that disorder and irregularity is normal - it's an obvious consequence of trying to make ends meet without having a job - it means I take on a number of random short-time things when the possibilities present themselves and when the need for money is more higher. Life in a community is also full of random activities that occur frequently enough to be normal but not enough to be 'regular' for me - and some of which are demanding and/or unexpected. And then add a boyfriend to it, who I like more than enough to see frequently but who also needs to be scheduled in amidst all the above randomness [fortunately his life is slightly less disordered normally].

And then there have been a couple of bigger irregular things in my life - the 5 extra days in Turkey - and a last-minute visit from a friend. Both things were good, but both drew me away from the already limited order I have in my life.

And so I see that certain things that are normal in my life, like writing for this blog and working on my dissertation and/or my unfinished thesis have been pushed a bit to the wayside. And I miss them.

And so when somebody asked if I was looking forward to the retreat with the community this weekend, the obvious answer to me was 'no.' It is one more thing, like my being present more within the community this past week while others took vacation, that draws me away from what limited order I am trying to struggling to find in my life. I think tomorrow after spending some time with the community, I will be thankful to be there - but for today, I am still longing for a certain amount of order, as well as the wisdom (humour?) to see order in the midst of the disorder.

And back to life as normal

So my life has been returning to normal here in Amsterdam. Considering where I live in Amsterdam - in a community in the Red Light District - normal can mean pretty much anything.

Last Saturday evening I walked out the front door and bumped into some man lying in front of the door. "Just great," I thought, "some crazy man passed out in front of my door." But he sat up, and I looked a bit closer - and I discovered it was Daniel hanging out watching the tourists go by. So I sat down and joined him. Why not, eh?

And as for more normal, today I'm writing this in the office of the community with some pretty overwhelmingly loud music coming from outside. The tons of people wondering around bedecked in orange today make it fairly obvious that today is a special holiday - the Queen's birthday.

And what did I do in honour of the Queen's birthday? I went to Schiphol to pick up a friend, Crystle, who's visiting this week. It took more than 3 hours to get there and back (normally it's 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back). I missed the last train travelling between Amsterdam Centraal and Amsterdam Sloterdijk - as of 11.45 this morning, trains could no longer run that part of the tracks because people had decided to walk on them. So, then a rerouting - and a delay before the re-routing was announced. Finally, I met up with Crystle (more than an hour late), and we began the adventure of getting back to Amsterdam Centraal amidst the re-routed and overcrowded trains. It was fairly gezellig, though - lots of friendly people clothed in orange, happily drinking beer, hanging out with friends, freely talking to everybody, and looking forward to hanging out some more in Amsterdam.

As I write this, it's become a bit more obvious to me why I found my beach vacation in Turkey nice - but slightly dull. I mean, castles are great and hanging out with the boyfriend is also great (and the rest of the company was pretty good, too) - but it doesn't quite compare with the 'never a dull moment' of life here in Amsterdam.

Home Again

I thankfully got to fly home today, and I am happily situated back in my small apartment (which is still bigger than a hotel room - although not by much), doing my laundry, spending time with my anxious cat, doing stuff on the computer, and looking forward to chapel and coffee with the Community this evening.

In honour of coming home, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures from my trip that have to do with home:
Throwing snowballs - a normal winter activity back home (the other home, that is).


Bikes in Konya


Jip and Janneke (dutch children's literature) in a sidestreet in Tarsus



My temporary home for the last week:

The view of the hotel and the beach.

The view of the beach and fort in the Mediterranean that you could see from the terrace of the hotel (and also from my balcony).

The castle within a 10 minute walk from the hotel.

And the last glimpse, a brief glimpse at one of the highlights of my vacation - the caves in Cappadocia. Now that I'm home again, I remember again how amazing a vacation it was.



More pictures to follow...

If you are stuck in Turkey, looking at castles is a good way to spend the morning...

This morning I visited my fourth castle this week. And before breakfast I walked out the hotel onto the terrace and read a book while looking out over the sea. I even have maids come in and clean my room. I might be stuck here but İ can hardly complain that life is difficult, eh?

Tomorrow we will hopefully fly home - flights are going again and we are re-booked for tomorrows flight. There is a layover in Istanbul which might be problematic because of the backlog there in the past week but otherwise everything looks good.

And the mood here has generally been positive. After all - if you have castles just around the corner to visit how hard can it be?

Well, ıts only hard when you remember what you miss. Yesterday Matthijs and I took a trip to a nearby city and visited an Orthodox Church. Walking into a church that is frequently used, invited in by the cleaning lady who enthusiastically inquired into what churches we attended (even though we didnt speak her language or she ours), I entered a place where İ sensed others frequently came before God. And even though I am travelling with a group of Christians and there have been many amazing sights, including beautiful parts of nature and churches from ancient times, I realized yesterday how much İ miss that silence and special place related to meeting God.

And when we heard yesterday that we could go home tomorrow - that flights were going again and we had a reservation again, a sense of relief filled me. I find uncertainty and the unknown so hard.

And with the hope of returning to normal life - a life I love - it is easier to be thankful for all the possibilities around me here. And I continue to be surprised, after seeing more of Turkey than I had expected, concerning how much continues to be new and different and unexpected.