And I'm not sure exactly how to mourn, nor how to participate in the joyful return of the community members whose presence makes things different simply by being here - and who didn't share that last month.
So I am simply going to chapel and otherwise cacooning in my house as much as possible. I've attached myself to my computer - it is high time that I get my act together and write some stuff on Ezekiel. And the forcing myself to work hard and concentrate fully on something I enjoy and flourish in is good for me, and if I work hard enough on it, it will bring on a good weariness and a joyful feeling of accomplishment. And hopefully after a week, I will be more able to participate in the rest of life in community, being able to mourn well while also hoping and delighting in all the new possibilities and upcoming challenges.