21 August 2009

feeling loved

i went to a funeral today, the funeral of the mother of a member of the community who also happens to be one of my house-mates. because it was quite a long trip and this is a strange time of year for vacations and work and moving and school beginning and so on, there were only three of us from the community who could go. but it was good to be able to be there for him, to share this moment with him, and to remind him that he was loved by the community.

yet even as much as it was good to be there, it was a long day/trip. and i came home tired and hungry, and since i really should have gone shopping awhile ago already, i knew i had to be pretty creative when it came to putting together something semi-enjoyable for dinner. but then it turned out that there were leftovers at the main house, and i was invited to come join zr albertine who'd also gone to the funeral. and it was broccoli soup and pasta with pesto and mushrooms. and they warmed it up for us and served us. and we got dessert, too. how could i not feel loved?

and then there was also the good conversations i had today - on the way to and from the funeral, during dinner, and after chapel. and there was the gift of a used microwave, which i carried across the canal and through the wallen without getting too many strange looks. and there was also the loaning of a cat carrier, so that tomorrow i can pick up my own cat, and my looking forward to the joy of a cat, especially since i know i'll get to share that joy with the little boy next door who's fascinated by cats and also with his mom who's not so impressed with how certain mice have decided to move in...

and on a day when i attempt to let another know that he is loved and cared for by the community, what i am struck by most is how much i am loved here. and i sometimes feel that i am not worthy of that love and do an inadequate job of sharing it with others. and maybe that's true and maybe it's not - but that's something to sort through another day. today i simply get to delight in the feeling of being loved - and also have joy in knowing that God also delights in his children feeling loved.

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