i've been noticing the swans in the canal out front a lot lately. they're pristine white against the brownish-ness of our fairly narrow canal and bring a beauty and peaceful feeling to the neighbourhood. and they just seem so out of place at times. back 'home,' swans only appear in quiet parks and clean waters - and here they are in the midst of the busy-ness and messiness of life in the centre. and the juxtaposition of the peaceful beauty of the swans with the busy, restlessness of the tourists and neighbours has led me to think of other such juxtapositions.
tonight i'll be spending quite a bit of time in quiet - in my room trying to learn Dutch and doing homework, or in the chapel for evening prayers, or having tea with others. and on the street, the pubs are full and the streets are crowded and there is a couple of rows of police on the bridge down the street - and the yelling and shouting over tonight's football (soccer) game will provide the background 'noise' to another 'mostly quiet' evening here.
if i sit on a certain side of the table at supper time, i can't help but see a very thin, scantily clad (usually in pink) girl standing in a red lit window smiling and beckoning at the guys that walk by. and i wonder, as i often do, about her - about how young she is, about how happy and sad she is, and about why. the house beside hers is one of the communities, and on certain days/evenings, i can look in on people i know (people i'm learning to call family :)) doing their dishes, reading their mail, talking and just going about normal life the same way all of us do in many different places.
the other day i was walking down the street with an 8 year old girl. well, it was kind of walking - it turned into us laughing and running (over something other which i don't remember now). and it was the most ordinary thing in the world that you'd do with a girl that age, who loves playing tag and laughing and having adults appreciate her. and as we passed through the tourists and others on the street and by the windows of women, i wondered what people thought about my walking and laughing with a child through the Red Light District, with its drugs and prostitution. that perhaps they (and all good people in general) should avoid this place. and i wish my neighbourhood was different - but i am choosing not to allow the place i live define what is normal. what is normal is laughing and going about a joyful life - what is being sold here is not.
and so i will try to continue to live a joyful life here, even if at times it is a bit overwhelming (the last week was a bit tiring as i spent a lot more time with people than with my studies - which led to disappointment in myself for not studying as much as i should and needing to use a lot more energy as i'm trying to communicate in Dutch).
and normal-ness will be defined as biking to school 3-4 times a week (25 minutes each way - it's been great exercise (between that and the many stairs, i've lost weight, which i found out today is actually not normal for 'Americans' who come here)), eating with lots of people, going to chapel twice a day, praying for loved ones who are nearby and far away, wondering how best to serve those around me, struggling with Dutch, studying Jeremiah, and laughing a lot. for that is normal for me - for normal is to be faithful to God in how i live and what i do - and this is how i can joyfully do that now.
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