home

i think about what home means a lot. it probably has to do with the fact that i move around quite a bit - and in each place, i try to make myself as much at home as possible. the logic is that: if i truly believe this is where God wants me to be now, then i ought to be participating in this place as much as i can. and i've been trying to do that lately (as much as my limited dutch has made it possible for me to do).

however, with participating in life as much as possible here, i've somewhat neglected a lot of what (and who) made up my life prior to the last 7 weeks. thankfully, we pray for loved ones daily, so i have hardly forgotten those people i love - but a short prayer does not exactly convey the same sense of love and concern as some kind of contact.

and so, as much as i might desire to have a place that i call home and fit in (something that is easier to do when you live with lots of different people and are forced to be yourself because you can't really hide from people who see and hear you all the time), i can't do that at the expense of the other places and people who have taught me what home means. as much as i want the simplicity of focusing only on here and now, i lose a lot if i do that. so i pray that i might have the grace to participate in life here while also holding on tightly to the home(s) that i left. after all, each of those places and each person i have left have shaped to be who i am now - and have taught me how to participate in life here - from the practical skills my parents taught me, from the biblical knowledge my professors taught me, to caring and listening that so many friends (and family) have shown me.