One large adventure

Much to my delight, Matthijs has now been here a week. It's been an adventure.

For me it's been hard at times. I'm super glad he's here, but i find it hard to figure out a healthy balance for work, especially since I didn't have to have balance when he wasn't here (No one used to care if I worked at 9 am or 9 pm or every moment in between). And i don't know how to sort out how our relationship will get affected by my being the one going to work now. What does that mean for household chores and expectations? And how do I ask and expect stuff from Matthijs in a way that's realistic, recognizing it's rather hard adjusting to a new country? And what does the role of a pastor's husband even look like?!? Perhaps it might help if I knew what the role of pastor looked like....

So that's the less fun part of the adventure.

The real fun has been had in the adventures Matthijs and I have undertaken together. Even my normal life is more of a fun adventure because Matthijs is here!

Yesterday was the big trip to the Secretary of State. For those unfamiliar with Michigan, this is where you get a driver's license. Without studying, Matthijs managed to pass the test and get his learning permit, which means he can practice driving with anyone who's had a license for awhile. We went driving together tonight. It went well: i.e., the car stayed on the road, no thing/one got hit, I didn't get stressed out in the passenger seat, Matthijs seemed fairly relaxed, and our relationship is doing fine, as far as I can tell. Matthijs practicing driving is definitely going to be the great adventure of this month....

Matthijs also agreed to join me in playing broomball with church and campus edge folks. Running around after a large plastic ball with a fake broom, in sneakers on ice, isn't my immediate idea of fun, but Matthijs said he would if I would, so....
It was actually lots of fun, minus the sore back/ behind for 4 days.

And what else? We've had people over already, despite not having enough furniture (because hospitality is about welcoming people and not first about having our act together). And we've been exploring our new neighborhood.

Stay tuned for more adventures.
And hopefully some pictures. Not because the adventures are so photo worthy, but because I get to experience fall here again, and the colours are even more beautiful than I remember.

So what does my job look like?

Now that I've shared photos of my new house, it seems also appropriate to share a bit more about what my life looks like here. I have a real job now (with a paycheck even!), but as a lot of my work involves writing emails, thinking and praying, as well as talking to people over coffee, it might not seem that much like work. On top of that, I have a lot of freedom about how I spend my time and where I spend my time, which means that I could easily rearrange my time so I could be free for my dad's visit last week (although because of that I think he has the vague suspicion that I don't actually work that hard....)

Most of the time I truly love what I do. I get to share the good news: how loving God and following Him can be such an amazing blessing, not necessarily an easy one, but one full of joy and hope and fellowship. I also get to ask how one's academic discipline affects one's faith and vice versa. Or, as the person I was talking to this morning phrased it: we shouldn't have to park our academic selves at the door when we participate in church nor should we have to leave our faith at the entrance when we live our academic professional lives.

To give a concrete idea of what happens with the ministry, I often post stories and thoughts from our Bible studies on the website of Campus Edge Fellowship. This semester we're talking about the book of Amos in one study and sex, intimacy, singleness and relationships in the other. Your prayers for us, as well as your wisdom on these topics are appreciated!

My schattige huisje

In Dutch, schattig means cute and huisje means little house. A friend of mine used the words to describe my new place, and it's an apt description. It's also the first time in my adult life that I've rented a house unattached from any other building. Although it's more than big enough for 2 people, it's still fairly compact, which contributes to it being cute. For those of you living in North America, it'll look like a pretty typical house, but for those living in the Netherlands, it's quite a bit different.

The following gives some pictures of the house so that you have some idea of what it looks like, at least until you can (hopefully) come visit in person. Half of the kitchen is missing (it was messy), as is the quite large (but dirty/dusty) basement. Furthermore, most of the living room is missing, as it's missing furniture. We'll be getting some eventually, but if you're more than welcome to help us with that, if you'd like :)

kitchen - theblue is a bit overwhelming

kitchen (2) - thanks to Bette and Diego for the table!

the covered front porch - opening immediately into the living room

The only shelving at the moment - in the future, it will hold the games and knick knacks, but now it's a book storage space.

bathroom

bathroom

bedroom - there's actually more than 10 inches between the bed and our clothes in this one!

Bedroom - the closet will be much more full when Matthijs and his stuff arrives

Bedroom  - note the cat window and a lovely dresser from Bonnie and Jim

Front bedroom, aka Matthijs study and/or the spare room. Thanks to Blythe and Pete for the lovely orange curtains! (and the other ones that you've seen previously)

And since we have all these lovely pictures, I thought I'd also include an extra one : Jerry meeting a squirel in front of the neighbour's house.

Biking and Privilege

A fascinating blog entry comparing biking and white privilege has been passing around Facebook. Through comparing white privilege to the "privilege" that cars have on the road, it provides a helpful analogy. It's not that whites are oppressive to blacks or even necessarily racist, it's more that there are systems set up that benefit whites and make life more complicated for non-whites. It's worth reading to help one think more about the issues.

What makes the article more interesting for me is that the person writing it bikes in Lansing - my new city in which I also bike. Most fascinating to me is that his experience has not been mine. Perhaps it is because I have come from a place - Amsterdam - where the system is set up for bikers. It is there that I learned how to pay more attention to others on the road because even if the system was set up for me there would always be those who broke the rules, whether that be bikers running through red lights, tourists on bikes, or taxi drivers. That is not something that I had learned previously, making me realize that we North Americans have developed a system/attitude that is less safe for pedestrians and bikers. We have also not learned how to share the road well, whether that be with (other) bikers or even other cars (e.g., merging or letting others in). Because I have lived in a difficult culture, it is more obvious to me what we are missing in this culture. I expect the same to be true when it comes to white privilege and racial issues.

Reading his article has also reminded me that not everyone experiences white privilege (as a white or black) in the same way. Different from him, I have found that most cars have given me much room, erring on the side of the caution as their uncertainty of how to relate to me becomes apparent. I have found roads and areas that are bike friendly, even making their proximity a criteria for my new place. So even as I miss the bike culture of the Netherlands, I have felt safe and welcome here - a very different story from that of the other biker in Lansing. I think that is also what makes white privilege complicated to understand: because everyone has different stories and experiences, it is hard to see the difficulties clearly.

Giving and Receiving

Giving and receiving are more complicated then we Christians often acknowledge. In the culture I'm part of we tend to be somewhat stingy while we also really like to help others (but don't so much like needing to receive help). Neither are really great examples of generous giving or gracious receiving.

Acts 20:35 notes that it is better to give than receive, but I wonder how much receiving helps us know how to give? This past week I was reminded of  how much being given a gracious, undeserving gift makes it easier to be giving in return. I think it's because even as much as I do want to be generous, it feels somewhat foolish to be too giving - because how will I know if I don't need something? It is only when I'm given more than I need, I realize how foolish I am for worrying!

Last week I received, with the help of a friend (Thanks Sarah!), the entire contents of a kitchen for our North American house. For free. Simply because a graduate student was leaving the country and wanted to pass it on to someone else. And I was astounded and delighted and felt very blessed. To share in my joy, I took pictures of the delightful and carefully wrapped gifts.  

As I look at these gifts and anticipate filling my new kitchen with them, I cannot help but hope that I might pass on this generousity to others, as that seems the best way of saying thank-you for this generous gift from Mia/Maria. Generousity is also a way of expressing my trust that God will take care of my needs. And lastly, as Matthijs has been informing me (seeing as he's now in charge of dispersing our stuff in Amsterdam), it's simply a lot of fun to be able to help others out by giving away our stuff to them.

Transitioning

I have made it to Lansing and am slowly transitioning (back) into this place and my role as campus pastor. The visas are in, stuff with moving has been fairly finalized, including a lot of sorting and giving away, the plane tickets have been bought, and I have found a new house that I'm happy with (here's hoping and praying that they are happy with us). And I've connected with the Campus Edge group and the church, reawakening my hopes and prayers for this place and helping me once again find my role here.

Simply being in Lansing makes the transition feel easier, if only because it is easier to acknowledge the empty place in my heart that used to be filled by my life in Amsterdam. I was glad for my time this last while in Amsterdam - I got to be with Matthijs, the community, and friends, and I could enjoy life in a European city. Yet, at the same time, I was trying to deal with the empty place left by leaving, an emptiness that I was not anticipating so much as I had already begun to know. And the sadness of leaving crossed paths with my desire to build up a new life in Lansing, and there was not enough room for both to co-exist well. So in the midst of processing and grieving the changes (or trying to avoid doing either), I feel like I did not always function well nor did I always know how to acknowledge to others how much I would miss that life surrounded by so many I cared about. It is not that I worry that I will lose touch with those I care about, it is more that I am saddened that I can no longer delight in/with and appreciate those folks with the same ease and regularity as I used to.

But I also know that part of the transition is focusing on the joy and wonder of going to a new place. It's about learning to delight in the adventure of it all (like learning to walk a cat), dreaming about a space to live where we can (once again) practice hospitality, developing new relationships, and being stretched by all the challenges. It is hard but good, and I am thankful for how well the transitioning has generally gone.

A look at my new neighbourhood: religion in the public sphere

Through the local paper, I've discovered that my (new) local Catholic Church has set up offices around the corner from where I currently live (and in the neighbourhood where I hope soon to find a new place). The article (found at: http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20140801/NEWS01/308010006) begins as follows:

"Lansing’s Church of the Resurrection this fall will take over space on East Grand River Avenue occupied by a women’s health clinic that provides abortions."

Reading the local paper is a great way to become acquainted with a new place, and it's a good way to discover more about the culture of a place. I'd walked by the office of the health clinic, named WomanCare, and it did not occur to me that this was a place that offered abortions until I saw the Catholic Church picketing that corner for quite awhile. It is surprising to me that such a name could be given to an abortion clinic - Woman Care. I assumed, when I first saw the name, that the clinic specialized in psychological and emotional help focused on women, possibly including health care issues, such as pregnancy, parenthood, fertility, and female-dominated cancers. It also occurred to me that the clinic might focus on women from certain religious groups where care from male health workers would be considered inappropriate. That the name 'WomanCare' would be given to a place that specialized in abortions seemed to be a euphemism at best; it was an insult to those who believe that abortion destroys life and harms women, and it neglected caring for a vast amount of the needs within the female population.

It is strange to me to realize again that abortion is such an issue within the Catholic and Evangelical communities of the United States. It is not that abortion is ignored here in the Netherlands. For one thing, the doctors in the community's crisis center are specifically not allowed to prescribe any kind of abortion-like medicine (and this is to a high needs population: one that is generally not insured, is generally undocumented, and for whom having a child could be a great burden). Secondly, the Christian political parties have a strong stance against abortion, but it does not come up that often within the churches or even in the party's political news. It is different here,and I do not know how that is good or bad. Seeing it through the eyes of others -reading the newspaper in my city and hearing the small victory of the local Catholic church in removing an abortion clinic from their neighbourhood - reminds me that there is still much to ponder about how one can best live out one's faith in the public sphere.