thus far, it feels kind of normal - in the sense that this is good now. i still have to think about making sure that i have my apron on/with when i go to the main house, that i put the cross on in the morning, and that i introduce myself as zr brenda (and write it that way). and i have a suspicion that,since i'm working so hard on the apron and zuster thing, i'll end up wearing my apron or introducing myself as zr brenda somewhere odd outside the house (i'm getting better with social awkwardwardness, so i'm sure it'll turn out alright :)). but even with this "making sure i remember" feeling, it feels kind of normal - i can even say that i am actually growing in appreciation for the apron - it's less ugly when it fits and the pouch is very convenient. i'll probably still complain about it but that's also normal :)
and when i talk about it feeling normal and good, it makes me think of two things that made last friday's service special for me. the first was the feeling of being welcomed - and that i could see and feel that others were generally delighted with me that i was making this step.
and the second has to do with being called zuster. as much as it feels kind of normal, i have to admit that i still have to smile when certain people call me zuster brenda. and others smile, too, when they say it (and we all smiled and even chuckled about it last friday). i feel like we're all sharing in this wonderful joke - that somehow i, who doesn't like to be the centre of attention and has never been somebody who was big on titles and acting important and so on, is now given this title of zuster - and it's good.
Photos from last friday can be seen on the website, along with a write-up (in dutch).
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