The end of the semester (with photos)

The spring semester has ended, for which I am thankful. It was full, and I feel like I'm still recovering. I don't have the right words yet to talk about the semester (even writing my year-end report was a challenge!). So instead, I'll simply post some pictures of the last few weeks.

Pentecost Sunday was so cold that the cat was snuggling under the blankets.

Poster from the Dennos art museum (Guerilla Girls exhibition). The comment about art schools being harems struck me. The ratios are a little too similar in theology and ministry settings.

Sleeping Bear dunes

Matthijs is fascinated with mushrooms, so I often get random pictures of mushrooms on my phone.

 

Spring on MSU's campus

Matthijs' birthday!

Another view of the red light district

Having lived in the Red Light District for a number of years, I thought I'd pass on this blog which talks about what it's like to work in the Red Light District: Behind the Red Light District.

As a disclaimer, the woman writing it is rather frustrated with some of the propaganda related to cleaning up the Red Light District. Although I disagree with her often enough, I do think she has a lot of valid points and thus deserves to be heard. I especially agree that the whole 1012 project has not resulted in better businesses in the neighbourhood, although I would argue that the fashion/design place at Oudezijds Voorburgwal 93 was actually doing quite well (or at least it was when I lived next door).

Free Online Hebrew Bible Resource!

I've been participating in the ETCBC (Eep Talstra Center for Bible and Computer) for a number of years now. If you've used any Hebrew text in Logos Bible software, you might know the ETCBC by its former name: WIVU (Werkgroep Informatica Vrije Universiteit). They are the ones responsible for the parsing of all of the Hebrew in the BHS. 

Thanks to grant funding, those resources are now available on the internet, free to whoever would like to use them. They are available as part of the Bible Online Learner. Once you have selected a text, you have access to parsing and translation of each word in the text, including the verbs! If you look on the left side of the screen (you can also use your mobile phone for this site - the display works really well!), you'll see a button that says "clause." The options "type" and "indentation" are quite helpful, and they also give a glimpse into the research that I've done (I've focused on indentation). The Shebanq website shows the actual research of the ETCBC group and allows for doing one's own searches on the text, although I haven't entirely figured out how to use this interface. 
As I figure this resource out, I'll hopefully post about what I find. 

Learning from the studies I lead

One of the delights of leading studies for my work has been the things I've learned as we study a passage together. Often the model for studies, especially with a pastor present, is that he/she be the expert and everyone else then learns. This is a similar model to what we're used to in school: the teacher as lecturer, passing on information. Yet there are questions of how effective this "banking model of education" really is.

I like a different model, one in which we all approach the text and the study of it as a place where we all (including me) can be challenged and learn from each other. I come to the studies with the biblical knowledge I've learned, time spent learning more about the text we're looking at, and a list of questions to help guide the discussion. At the same time, I also need to bring curiosity and a spirit of intellectual inquiry to the discussion as well as model humility, recognizing that I, too, have much to learn and should be open to being convicted by the text. The challenge of this second model is that it asks a lot more from those participating, and at the end of the study it's less easy to list off all the things we know. At the same time, I believe that what we learn together communally is much more profound than what we would come up if I was expected to provide all the answers.

In the last few weeks, I have learned and been convicted by the following things:
- Most of us see the disciple Thomas negatively, calling him doubting Thomas, not realizing the ways in which he is both courageous and realistic. While the rest of the disciples were hiding after Jesus' death, Thomas was courageously risking his life by going out into the open. When Jesus goes to Jerusalem (John 11) to raise Lazarus from the dead, it was Thomas who was willing to join Jesus despite the potential risk of death, both for Jesus and the disciples. It deserves more pondering - what do I have still to learn from Thomas? Father Mark at St. John's Student Center reiterated these points in his sermon yesterday.
- In talking about Mark 9, we talked about how scary demons are and how uncomfortable most of us are with the thought of demons. Yet, we don't seem to have the same fear in relation to the spiritual forces that are working in our lives here and now. This seems like a pretty big disconnect. Why/how is it that I can be convicted of the need for prayer and fasting in relation to the spiritual forces found in the New Testament and yet I'm blind to and even lazy when it comes to confronting the sins in my life and potential spiritual forces leading me astray?

A weather inspired april fool's joke

Although it's a day late, the weather today feels like an April fool's joke. It's April 2nd, the first day of spring was two weeks ago, the cat is shedding, and the first day of Easter was almost a week ago. It should thus be warm, sunny, and the beginning of biking season!

Instead, this was the view out my window at work late this afternoon:

On the bright side, it was quite pretty. There's nothing quite as beautiful as snow glistening on trees, especially when you know that it'll melt within a day or two (and biking will once again be enjoyable).

Holy Saturday: Outlive one's love for God

The Good Friday hymn, "O Sacred Head now Wounded" ends with

"What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee."

The last line made me think of Holy Saturday, a day when there is space to dwell on the absence of God. Just as the first disciples who deeply felt the absence of death on the day after the crucifixion, not comprehending that the resurrection was coming, there are many today that do not know the presence of God.

Some of the absence comes from "outliving" (or outgrowing) one's love for God. Within campus ministry, one is confronted with the reality that many people grow up with this idea that God wants them to be happy and good (cf. moral therapeutic deism). When suffering happens, one's love for that sort of God often dwindles and fades. Or there are those who have grown up with very rigid understandings of who God is, often a God who seems most concerned with right rules and/or maintaining the status quo. When questions arise, one's love for that sort of God also often dwindles and fades. In a manner of speaking, these folks have outgrown/outlived their love for God.

Yet, as much as I am saddened by the idea of people turning away from pursuing a relationship with God, there is also hope. For as the warped pictures of God are put to death, there is room for resurrection: the Spirit moving within them to know God fully and the hope of a vibrant understanding of and relationship with God, in all of His fullness revealed in the Bible, a way of knowing God that can not be outgrown or outlived.


For further reflections on Holy Saturday, see my blog from 2015, 2013, and Tish Warren's reflections at "The Well."

PhD Advice - Helpful and Unhelpful

One of the joys of doing a PhD and ministering to folks who are getting PhDs is learning to reflect on the experience. An important part of that is sharing the struggles and joys of the experience with others. Getting a PhD is hard; we all need the support. At the same time, I also believe it's very much worth it: getting to go to grad school and writing a dissertation is a privilege and a gift. But it's still hard and overwhelming and even leads to depression for many.

Getting a PhD is even more complicated for females, I think, even though there are quite a lot of us doing them! There's even a recent book written about this, which I'd recommend: Our dissertations, ourselves. Perhaps part of the challenge in being a female is the strange assumptions about females doing PhDs like 'you won't be able to get married' or 'don't you want to have children.' And yes, I have had both of those assumptions directed at me.

One of the challenges of getting a PhD is knowing how to do it. Many of those around us, including those who care about us, will want to try to give helpful advice. Asking a grad student how his or her thesis is coming is not always received well (see PhD comics). But what does one say? A lot of advice is more unhelpful than helpful: e.g.,  I know others who've finished faster than you, a good thesis is a done thesis, you won't get a job, and more: see Thesis Whisperer's article on Unhelpful PhD Advice.

YES! I, too, would like to have my dissertation finished now already. I know Matthijs would, too.

Do I worry about whether I'll finish? Not so much. Do I wonder about how I'll finish? More so. Most of the time the biggest challenge hasn't been in writing the dissertation but in figuring out what's preventing me from writing. Unfortunately, there's very little advice - even from those closest to me and my dissertation - that can help resolve that challenge, at least partly because I recognize that the reasons for not writing keep shifting.