Thankful for small and large joys

I've had a hard time these last few weeks, primarily on account of the challenges of life in a pandemic (still) combined with extra projects at work, along with a very strong desire to read or play computer games so I can finally "get some time for myself."

Normally this time of year - after the joys and challenges and hard work of the semester - I'd be going away for a few days for a vacation. Or at least planning and looking forward to doing that since I've learned that I do better if I step away a bit. Now we're in a pandemic, and the whole summer before us - a time when usually there's a lot of extra freedom for adventures and visiting - is a large unknown. And I'm finding it hard.

When I acknowledge that things have been hard, I give myself space to be a little less frustrated with myself when I don't accomplish as much as I wish I would each day (and so also try to escape from the frustration less). I also have space to acknowledge that in the middle of the challenges of daily life, there are a lot of small and large joys - often connected to the little whose presence is both exhausting and a delight.

So I give thanks for watching her jump in rain puddles (with either Matthijs or I as witness), for getting to plant tomatoes with her, for having her ask me to tell her stories about Jesus, for the fact that Matthijs and her bring me coffee (and cake) each morning as I work, for the joy I have in watching Matthijs and her together. To share that joy, here are a couple of pictures.

Our day out to a nearby state park (and no, it wasn't really warm enough to be in the water)

Jumping in puddles

My morning coffee and cake every work day.

Your kingdom come, your will be done: theory vs reality

Awhile ago, Mockingbird posted an article by Grace Leuenberger about how the current situation reveals some of our assumptions about control. While we pray for God's will to be done, what we really want is to make the plans ourselves and then expect God to come through to make them good. As we continue to practice 'social distancing' (stay home, stay safe here in Michigan),

her words feel even more true today as I struggle with giving up some of my desires again today:

"Your kingdom come, your will be done. Many of us have prayed this prayer. But I wonder if I prayed it like it was a joke. True, but with an asterisk. True, but able to be retracted. True, but with a laugh. True, but. Maybe we’re finding out all of this—this life, this world, and the chaos of it all—really was about Christ and his kingdom. But the joke has turned out to be not so funny. Why? Because . . . I think many Americans—myself included—are seeing how accustomed we became to being king, how much we made our independence essential to our existence. . . . Maybe our independence is not essential to our wellbeing. Maybe travel is not the only way to see and understand more. Maybe investing in stocks and 401Ks isn’t the way to a secure future. Maybe the people we’ve looked past are the ones whose lives will point us most to Jesus. Maybe the prayers we only half meant are the prayers God will answer most clearly. Maybe these days will prove to be Kingdom-building, Kingdom-coming."